A likely story
by The Vicious One
Summary: Celebi loves Lugia...but, what happens today may take a turn for the worst. PG-13 for suggestive themes and mild language, R&R FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!
1. Default Chapter

A likely story  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don' own the game with the guys that attack each other and have the name 'Poké' or 'mon' in the name!  
  
  
The sun rises gracefully over Cerulean City.  
  
Mewtwo: (watching MTV eating pretzels) Too much hair. (Phone rings) Uh, this is Mewtwo, whaddya want?  
Mew: Hi, Twoie.  
Mewtwo: Oh, hi, Mew.  
Mew: What'cha doin', lover?  
Mewtwo: o__O Watchin' TV.  
Mew: Mind if I come over?  
Mewtwo: Which kind of 'come over'?  
Mew: Anyway you want.  
Mewtwo: Ok, whatever floats your boat. Bye. (Hangs up)  
  
Lugia comes in.  
  
Lugia: Grrrrrrrreetings!  
Mewtwo: Stop with the Urkel act, Lugia.  
Lugia: Sorry, geez, kill the mood! Mew comin' by today?  
Mewtwo: Yup.  
Lugia: Why?  
Mewtwo: Get a 'jump start' to the morning.  
Lugia: Can I jump start my morning too?  
Mewtwo: Nah, it'd just be awkward, what with me and Mew doin' each other.  
Lugia: Uh huh...call me when you feel like playin' pool or something!  
  
Lugia leaves, and bumps into Mew.  
  
Lugia: Morning Mew.  
Mew: Um...hi.  
Lugia: So, what'cha doin' today?  
Mew: Eh, I'm gonna 'jump start' my morning...and Mewtwo's.  
Lugia: Can I watch? (Gets goofy grin)  
Mew: Oh, knock it off, you pervert! (Goes into Unknown Dungeon)  
Lugia: Man, such a bi-  
Mew: I HEARD THAT!  
Lugia: Well, I'm not gonna say nothin' else then. (Leaves)  
  
Meanwhile, in Unknown Dungeon...  
  
Mewtwo: So, what do you wanna do?  
Mew: Depends on you...tell me.  
Mewtwo: Well...um...  
Mew: Go on, you know you wanna.  
Mewtwo: Wanna make out?  
Mew: How about you change 'out' with 'love'.  
Mewtwo: Ok, make love?  
Mew: Better. Yes.  
  
Back at Whirl Islands...  
  
Lugia: (watching VH1 eating Doritos) He needs to grow his hair long. (Phone rings) Uh, this is Lugia.  
Celebi: Hi, Lugie! (Another Mewluver joke, I don' own it!)  
Lugia: Please don't call me that...  
Celebi: (gay laugh) Aaaanyway, what'cha doin'...  
Lugia: Watch some dork on TV.  
Celebi: Can I come over?  
Lugia: Which kind?  
Celebi: Say what?  
Lugia: Huh?  
Celebi: What?  
Lugia: Who?  
Celebi: Um...  
Lugia: Celebi?  
Celebi: ......  
Lugia: .......  
Celebi: .......  
  
(2 Hours Later)  
  
Lugia: ......Ceeeeeelebi?  
Celebi: ...............................why?  
Lugia: Look, just get over here!  
Celebi: Ok, then, bye! (Lugia hangs up first)  
Lugia: (Thinks) (Why does being gay have to be so...difficult?!)  
  
Back at Unknown Dungeon...  
  
Mewtwo: (Watching Sonic SatAM with Mew) Aren't you surprised The Kanto Network bought this show?  
Mew: I'm surprised you knew that it would happen as soon as we made love.  
Mewtwo: Man, afterglow can really give you kick in the teeth...  
Mew: Yep...  
  
Lugia busts in and is kicking Zapdos in the face.  
  
Lugia: WHO IN THE FLAMING BLACK KING OF PICHUS DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! WHY ARE YOU TRYIN' TO STEAL MY SEREBII-SAN?!?  
Mewtwo and Mew: O.o 'Serebii-san'?!  
Zapdos: You don't get it, you putz! He loves me!  
Lugia: Shut up, punk! (Kicks Zapdos in the jewels, Zapdos screams like a girl)  
Zapdos: (Zaps Lugia with a lightning bolt)  
Celebi: WAIT!!!  
  
Everyone freezes except for Mewtwo and Mew.  
  
Mewtwo: What was that for?  
Mew: The author's got his agile transitions on the rise again.  
Mewtwo: Oh, lord...  
Celebi: Ok, Lugia, what's goin' on?  
Lugia: Well, Zapdos just kicked me a-, wait a minute! Celebi, why did it take you so long to answer me when I called you?  
Zapdos: Cause he was givin' me a lap dance!  
Celebi: Uhhhhhhhh, w-what?  
Lugia: O.O Celebi???  
Celebi: Lugia...I...I don't know how to say this.  
Lugia: Say what?!  
Zapdos: SAY IT!!! LUGIA MUST KNOW!!!  
Lugia: Know what?!  
Celebi: Um...Lugia...I kinda did lap dance for him.  
Lugia: Meaning...  
Celebi: I'm sorry...I kinda used you a few weeks back.  
Mewtwo: So, you cheated on Lugia...that's horrid!  
Mew: I agree...and yet, that's kinda arousing. Hey, Mewtwo, let's go in the closet... (winks)  
Celebi: Shut up, Mew! How can you think of making love to Mewtwo at a time like this?!  
Lugia: No, you shut up, bug boy! YOU BETRAYED ME, YOU...YOU...YOU...YOU POKé HUSSY!!!  
Celebi: NO! YOU SHUT UP, BIRD...BIRD...BIRD DOOKIE!!! (Runs off crying)  
Mewtwo: ...Um...ok, that was odd. Mew?  
Mew: Quite possibly. Lugia, what's up with Celebi?  
Lugia: (About to cry) I don't know, and I don't care, cause I'm leaving too! (Leaves)  
Zapdos: Yeah, me three! I don't know why I came here in the first place either! (Zapdos also leaves and slams the door of U.D. shut)  
Mewtwo: Ooooooook...wanna get a coffee?  
Mew: Ok!  
  
At a local Starbocks... (YES, IT IS A RIVAL COFFEE SHOP OF STARBUCKS!)  
  
Mewtwo: Man, Mew...who'd guess when you watch TV one day, your lover rips your heart out so horrid like?  
Mew: I dunno, but that wouldn't happen with us! (kisses Mewtwo on the cheek like Sally would with Sonic on many SatAM episodes)  
Mewtwo: Heh heh... (Sips his coffee)  
  
Outside, the sound of a nearby car crash is heard. Mewtwo and Mew run outside to discover...  
  
Mew: OH, MY GOD!  
Mewtwo: Man...and that was a good Honda, too! (Reads what year it was) '79?! THIS ACCORD SUCKS!  
Mew: Mewtwo, Lugia's in the car!  
Mewtwo: Uh oh...one more car crash, and Lugia don't qualify for poké insurance from Team Rocket!  
Mew: Who'd do this?!  
Lugia: Ugh...man, my head feels like hell...  
Mew: Hey, look! Tire tracks!  
Mewtwo: Mew, those probably came from when Lugia crashed.  
Mew: No, look behind the car, baka!  
Mewtwo: Oh, man...someone hit him! And ran like a chicken!  
Mew: Yeah, but...who?  
  
(Dramatic sting music plays, followed by a long pause)  
  
Mewtwo: Did you just call me a baka?  
Mew: (Hesitates to answer) Of course not!  
Mewtwo: You're sure?  
Mew: Ummmmm...yeah!  
Mewtwo: You're positive?  
Mew: Of course!  
Mewtwo: Only ditzy girls are positive!  
Mew: Well, that's bec-wait! DAMMIT, MEWTWO!  
Mewtwo: (snicker)  
  
To be continued?  
  
  
(HOLY CRAP! A cliff-hanger! Celebi dumps Lugia, Mewtwo and Mew are dumb-founded, and Vicious Mewtwo is on a riot?! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT???????? Why is the sky blue?! WHAT IS THE MYSTERY OF THE YETI?! WILL SATAM EVER APPEAR ON TOONAMI?!?!?!?!??! Hell, I don't know. All I know is...you must read and review this, and don't flame me. If you leave great reviews, I'll continue, OR...I'll just leave you in a cliff-hanger and make scream, 'WHY VICIOUS?!? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?' You know why...cause I can! You know why also? Cause I know your weakness! YOU KNOW WHY ALSO?!? ...cause I'm the king among humor fanfiction writers! Ok, my long session of taunting is over! Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna lock myself in my closet and read my latest issue of 'Walking'. By the way, did you know the best to walk is to put one foot in front of the other?)  
  
  
STAY TUNED!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 


	2. The TruthIT BURNS!

A likely story (Or is it?)  
  
Disclaimer: (Go back and see for yourself!) But I don't own George Carlin or Sonic the Hedgehog...  
  
When we last left them, Mewtwo and Mew found a car crash, and Lugia was in it. What happens next...happens now!  
  
Mewtwo: Ok, um, who'd do this?  
Mew: I dunno...maybe Celebi?  
Mewtwo: (sarcasticly) That would make a LOT of sense.  
  
Suddenly, Lugia gets up strangely.  
  
Mew: I thought you was hurt.  
Lugia: I was?  
Mewtwo: Yeah, remember the last chapter?  
Lugia: What? I don't understand...  
Mew: (Checks Lugia out...psychicly...) Uh oh...he's got amnesia!  
Mewtwo: Hoo boy...and I don't play 'solve the mystery'.  
Lugia: What the hell are you guys talking about...and...for that matter, who the hell are you guys?!  
Mew: Mew and Mewtwo, your buddies!  
Mewtwo: o__O Buddies?  
Mew: Personally, between us...I'd say 'lovers'.  
Lugia: Huh?  
Mewtwo: (under his breath) Bird-brain...  
  
Meanwhile, outside the shrine of Ilex...  
  
Celebi: Oh, man...what am I gonna do?! He'd never forgive me!  
Suicune: For what?  
Celebi: Well...I just hurt someone VERY dear to me...  
Eneti: We know...Lugia.  
Celebi: No...it was...MEWTWO'S CACTUS!!! (bawls loudly) I'M SUCH A MONSTER!!!  
Raikou: Well that's our name, 'pokémon'. We are monsters!  
Suicune: Not us, we're dogs!  
Eneti: Oh, by the way. Celebi, Zapdos called. He said He's cheating on you with Articuno, and he knows you ran Lugia over.  
Celebi: What?! I'd never run Lugia over with a car... (realizes what the main word was) OH NO!!! HE CHEATED ON ME?!? (bawls harder)  
Eneti: Sorry, but it's true.  
Raikou: So, can we have our 20 zenny?  
Celebi: (is still bawling)  
Suicune: O__o Oooook, let's just leave now. (All three of them leave)  
  
Back at Unknown Dungeon...  
  
Mewtwo: (sitting on the couch...playing Mortal Kombat)  
Mew: I thought you liked watching TV...  
Mewtwo: But beating up someone and killing them is better! (stares wide eyed)  
Mew: You're odd...and I like it.  
  
Zapdos breaks in, instead of Lugia.  
  
Zapdos: Mewtwo...I know who ran Lugia over!  
Mewtwo: Was it Celebi?  
Zapdos: Oh, by the way, he killed your cactus.  
Mewtwo: ...Joey...he killed Joey?! I WANT HIS HEAD!!!  
Mew: Who ran over Lugia?  
Zapdos: ...it was Tracy!  
Mewtwo: That no good punk!  
Zapdos: I know, we'll find him and send him to jail.  
Mewtwo: No, it's Celebi...I want him dead!  
Mew: We gotta call the police!  
Zapdos: No, then they'll arrest me!  
Mew: Why?  
Zapdos: They'd never accuse him. They'll arrest cause they'll then I tried to use him for rape!  
Mew: Oh, God!  
Mewtwo: That's horrid!  
Zapdos: We were just in love!  
Mew: But he gave you a lap dance!  
Zapdos: So?!  
Mew: I'm just gonna call (dials 911) Y'ello, this is Mew...yeah, I'm just calling to report an attempted murder...Lugia...  
  
Later, at the courthouse...  
  
Judge Vicious: Any closing remarks?  
Tracy: Uh, why was I accused of murder?  
Mewtwo: Cause we hate you.  
Lugia: And you always cause problems in society, whether it's your fault or not.  
Mewtwo: Even if you walk, it's a crime!  
Tracy: Is that true?  
Jude Vicious: (Looks it up in the law books) Let's see...walking...Tracy Sketchit...ah, here it is! 'At any point should the person known as Tracy Sketchit walk at least one step, he must be punished by Lethal Probing.' Lethal Probing???  
Mewtwo: o__O  
Tracy: OK, I DID IT!  
  
Everyone in the courtroom gasps in shock, Mewtwo smiles.  
  
Judge Vicious: So, you hit Lugia?  
Tracy: NO, I WALKED HERE TODAY!!!  
Judge Vicious: Ok then...Tracy Sketchit, I sentence you to death by...Lethal Probing... Ok, whoever thought that up is really messed up!  
George Carlin: Hey, don' look at me, I'm in favor of capital punishment like that!  
Sonic: HELL YEAH, PROBE HIM!  
Shadow: Probe him? PROBE YOU!  
Sonic: Shut up, faker! (Sonic and Shadow get into a fist fight! HELL YEAH! ^__^)  
Tracy: Um...I die by what?  
Judge Vicious: Lethal Probing...  
Tracy: So, I have to take my pants off?  
Judge Vicious: O.O DIE, YOU SICK BASTARD!!! (Whips out a shotgun and caps Tracy in the head! HELL YEAH AGAIN! ^__^)  
  
Suddenly, Celebi comes in.  
  
Celebi: Ok, people. Stop fighting and talking...Lugia...I need to tell you something.  
Lugia: Don't tell me...  
Celebi: ...Lugia...I'm pregnant.  
Lugia: O.O YOU'RE A GIRL?!?  
Celebi: ^__^ Just kidding...about the pregnant part...but yes, I am a girl!  
Lugia: But you said you was a guy!  
Celebi: I'm a hermaphrodite!  
George Carlin: Holy sh*t! That's one f*cked up little bastard!  
Judge Vicious: You're tellin' me! But still, we don't know who ran Lugia over still!  
Lugia: Um, about that...I kinda crashed the car cause I was driving drunk.  
Judge Vicious: Drving under the influence? Why?!  
Lugia: I was sad the Celebi dumped me.  
Celebi: Well...I kinda wanna start things up again...  
Lugia: Baby, let's go back to Whirl Islands...and I'll give you a great night with the REAL Birdman...Lugia!  
Celebi: No, take me now! (He/she kisses Lugia and they end going to the bathroom...odd sounds are heard as well)  
Mewtwo: Ok, that was really messed up, can we go home now?  
Mew: Yes, we can. (They all leave, except for Sonic and Shadow, who are still fighting)  
Judge Vicious: Ok, I'll just leave you two here...night! (Runs away and goes to a Pizza Hut)  
Knuckles: And why were we here?  
Rouge: So Vicious can mention Sonic in his writings.  
Knuckles: I...see...  
  
(Back at Unknown Dungeon...)  
  
Mewtwo: You know something, Mew...this was one messed up day.  
Mew: Yeah, but that whole thing about the car crash that Lugia caused was a likely story...  
Mewtwo: Hey, where's Joey? He was there yesterday...oh, well...  
Mew: Remember, Celebi killed your cactus!  
Mewtwo: (Insert Angry Dad voice from The Simpsons) NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!  
  
END!!!  
  
Personal Note from Vicious: The preceding fanfiction you just read contained some brief reference of hermaphrodites. I do not tend to bash them, but I used them for humor, and if anyone who may be a hermaphrodite or knows someone who is a hermaphrodite reads this, and finds my humor to be offensive and disrespectful to their race, I am sorry. I'm Vicious Mewtwo. Good night. (Long pause...Vicious then runs off) 


End file.
